She became a mother of many children. We understand what we are doing

After the most touching and tender holiday - Mother's Day - we met with mothers, to whose affectionate title one really wants to add the prefix "SUPER". After all, they are not just mothers - they are mothers of many children. And besides, very successful women and true beauties. Thanks to them for finding time in their extremely busy schedule to talk, even though it was not at all easy. And for filling this text with a feeling of real maternal happiness!

MOTHER: Olga Zhadeeva, editor-in-chief of the media project about Belarusian fashion Rretaportal. by, partner of the Kantsept-krama store, finalist of the Mrs. Belarus-2014 contest.

DAD: Alexander Zhadeev, businessman.

CHILDREN: Arina (14), Andrey (10), Magdalena (8), Stefania (4), Nikita (3 months).

The older I get, the more I understand how lucky I am, what wealth my husband and I have. To find out that she is pregnant, to expect, counting weeks and days, to see a child for the first time, to feed a baby, to be carried in her arms, to kiss a fluffy crown and tiny fingers, to see how children love each other, how they play, how they miss, watch, how a beloved man becomes a caring dad - all these are incredible, incomparable emotions! And the fact that I was given to experience them so many times is happiness, for which I am infinitely grateful to fate and the universe.

With the birth of each child, the family is reborn, new habits, new traditions appear. We are just getting used to our new line-up as the Seven Selves.

We have three schoolchildren, so the holidays are a holiday for the whole family. We celebrate their offensive with a tea party with a cake, think over entertainment program: cinema, zoo, water park, pizzeria.

When the weather is nice, we like to have dinner outdoors. My husband is a great BBQ. We welcome guests, including those with children. I like it when there are many children in the house. Friends joke that I can throw my friends under the guise - the difference will still not be noticeable.

Last year, we got a dog of the Akita Inu breed, a universal favorite named Yakuza. And this is a great reason to go for a walk together - with bicycles, a scooter, a stroller and a dog!

Children go in for judo, go to the pool with dad on weekends. I am still a weak link against their sports background, but I plan to catch up.

We raise children, and children, meanwhile, raise us. Unbelievable, but true: I have become much more tolerant, calmer, despite the fact that the number of stress factors seems to be directly proportional to the number of children. Children mirror our emotional background, read our mood, what you send them is what you get in return. We try to educate with love and notice how her children then broadcast it in the world. At the same time, we set boundaries so that it is clear: this is possible, this is no longer. In a large family, rules, order and subordination are especially important; this greatly simplifies communication between parents and children.

With punishments, everything is individual.

Each child has its own approach, depending on age and character. It is enough for kids to restrict freedom for a period of 5, 10, 20 minutes - to stand in the corner, sit on a chair in another room. For older children, occupational therapy outside of normal duties or deprivation of some amenities like ice cream for a week is effective. Well, with the elders - just talk.

Weekdays of a mother of many children

Children greatly expand the boundaries of our capabilities. Although if someone else is in my place, out of habit, the load - both physical and emotional - may seem excessive. There are really a lot of things to do, each of the children needs to take time: to talk, listen, play. Children, on the one hand, take a lot, on the other hand, they give a lot. They are very energizing.

Children and career

One of my classmates was from a family with three children - a rarity in those days. She said that her mother often reproaches her and her brothers for sacrificing her career for them, and they, ungrateful, did not appreciate this. The family is not an altar to which sacrifices must be made. My opinion is this: if you want to work and make a career, find opportunities and ways for this. If it makes you happy, great. If you can still make money - generally wonderful!

I manage an online fashion project pretaportal.by, write and edit articles, give lectures at the university several times a week, study together

with a partner "Kantsept-kramai" - a clothing and accessories store of Belarusian designers. I don't sit in the office from 9 to 18, but I often have to sacrifice a few hours of sleep at night or deal with work issues on a day off.

I know women who are creative in housekeeping and raising children. This is their talent, their self-realization, and this is no worse than conquering career peaks.

Children and figure

I remember how worried after the birth of my first child that it would not be possible to return to its former harmony. 3 months after giving birth, she ran to fitness classes and quickly got in shape. After the birth of her second child, she resumed classes a month later - so I wanted to lose weight as soon as possible! After the third, there was no time left for fitness, the purchased annual subscription practically lay idle. But it turned out that household chores and caring for three children make you slimmer than any fitness. After the fourth, she returned to form after a couple of months. Now my fifth child is 3 months old, and the tightest skirts are already fastened on me. True, I monitor nutrition and do a number of simple exercises at home: squats, push-ups, lunges, etc. So from my own experience I can say: children do not spoil the figure - they temporarily change it.

We have fun

I used to blog on LiveJournal, thanks to which the stories, sad and funny, but most of them very touching, children's statements and photos, have been preserved. They would be enough for a whole collection on the topic "Everyday life of a mother with many children." Sometimes I re-read and think: God, how did I survive this?! For example, when Andryusha did Magdochka's hair and styled it with ... glue. They were 3 years old and 1 year old. Or how we came to rest, and while we were checking into the room, Andrey ran away. We searched for him all over the hotel - it turned out that he went to the sea to swim. One. At 5 years old. He says, well, we came to the sea, and you went into the room. Now it's funny, but then we were very scared.

dad about mom

Firstly, Olya is a very cool wife: kind, gentle, ready to give all of herself without a trace. Secondly, she cooks great: I have not yet met anyone who cooks better. Thirdly, she has great taste, this is some kind of natural gift. And also she loving mother The kids just love her. The youngest, Stephanka, follows Olya with a tail and imitates everything. Andryusha periodically promises to give a sports "Mercedes" or "Ferrari" when he grows up.

MOTHER: Natalya Nadolskaya (economic observer, host of the Economics column on STV).

DAD: Vitaly Nekrashevich, businessman.

CHILDREN: Ilya (6 years old), twins Ulyana and Polina (2.5 years old).

About the happiness of being a mother of many children

I once said to my husband: “Oh, I married you too late, otherwise I would have given birth every year!” We got married when we were both over 30. Although by today's standards, this the best time for first marriages. Both my husband and I are the only children in the family. Before marriage, they managed to realize themselves in a career: I - in journalism, Vitaly - in business. Both firmly stood on their feet, were financially independent.

We never discussed whether we want children. It was kind of self-explanatory. But it was definitely discussed before marriage that I don’t like cats, and my husband doesn’t like dogs, so there won’t be any pets in our house.

The first-born Ilya was born 2 years after the wedding. Of course we were happy. The child is desired, long-awaited, and, accordingly, all forces were thrown at his development. Everything, as they say in smart books for moms: breast-feeding up to one and a half years, the best complementary foods, developing courses, swimming lessons. So 3 years have passed.

One day, walking along shopping center, I looked longingly at the clothing department for newborns and said to my husband: “Oh, it’s a pity that Ilya grew up so quickly. Such happiness to buy small bodysuits!” Thought is material - and in a couple of months I was already pregnant. Although, as is often the case with second children, everything turned out "almost by accident." And even more so, the news that there would be twins was a complete surprise for everyone. We never even joked about it. No one in the family had twins. The husband could not come to his senses for a long time. From happiness, of course. But I, on the contrary, became sad: how can we cope? And he told me: “Don't drift. Just think - we won’t sleep for 3 years! ” And so it happened…

Family traditions, family charter

Dad is the head of the family, its president and part-time finance minister. All the rest are cultural workers: we live, we sing, we dance.

In our now large family, it’s like in the army: the most valuable thing is sleep. At first, I didn't sleep at night because I was breastfeeding the girls. Each one upon request. And it's not easy. Then the husband went to work in Moscow. And then I had to call grandmothers and nannies for help.

There are no rules in our family. But there isn't much chaos either. Although one family tradition there is. Italian, one might say. We all talk very loudly. "Family of the Deaf", as I jokingly call us. This is hereditary: the husband's father is the Honored Artist of the Republic of Belarus Leonid Nekrashevich - a singer. My husband also sings loudly. As a presenter in life and on television, I always spoke very loudly. And our children are screamers. And now, when we moved to our country house, they began to shout even louder. Because you have to talk to each other from different floors.

"Crime and Punishment": views on education

I will believe that couples break up due to different views on the process of education. My husband and I often argue about whether children should be punished. He accuses me of allowing them too much. In response, I reproach that he works hard and can be strict. At first I thought that the main difficulty of upbringing is to provide for the needs of children, primarily physiological. Now I tend to think that the most difficult thing is to educate a Human. Personality. With an inner core, with principles, with your own opinion. Sometimes it seems to me that being an example, giving time, loving and inspiring is too big a responsibility. It is much easier to feed, clothe and pay for developing circles.

Weekdays of a mother of many children

The washing machine almost does not turn off. As is the iron. I cook 5 liters of compote alone daily. I professionally remove stains from children's clothes. Its repair and purchase of products is also on me. And also - children's sections, meetings in the garden, clinics and document management. I work not only as a leading column on television, but also as a driver, psychologist, cook, doctor, cleaner.

Children and career

I have been working on TV for almost 20 years. I love my job very much and am immensely grateful to the management of the channel, which has always supported me in any undertakings, initiatives and was not afraid to let me work mother of many children before the deadline maternity leave. I do not remain in debt: last year, for example, I never took sick leave. Our grandmothers and the godmother of the girls insured me during the illness of the children.

Often a large country house and big family forced women to give up their jobs and devote themselves entirely to their husbands and children. I'm glad that so far I've been able to

to combine home and work thanks to the help of her husband and relatives.

Children and beauty

I have to look good. Manicure-pedicure-depilation, hair care has not been canceled. Being a working mother of many children is not easy. I am inspired by the successes of my children, the admiring glances of my husband and the envious (in a good way) of those around me.

We have fun

I remember a couple of years ago, my son in kindergarten drew a postcard for Mother's Day. He comes home with dad in the evening - flowers, a postcard in his hands - and says loudly: “Beloved mom, I congratulate you on the New Year!” I have a dumb question in my eyes. Him: “Oh no – happy birthday!” Then he listed a couple more holidays, but I didn’t remember Mother’s Day. We, of course, wiped away a tear of tenderness. What difference does it make what holiday your children congratulate you on - yes, even with all of them put together! The main words here are “beloved mommy ...”

dad about mom

When we did not yet have three children, I did not understand how much work and responsibility it was. Natasha in this matter is our strong rear. As a wife, she closes all issues related to children, home, life. In the family, I'm more like an earner who brings a mammoth from the hunt. There is such a moment in modern parents: they do not devote much time to their children, they try to attach them to grandmothers, nannies. My Natasha is not like that. She finds time to play, work out, and talk with each child (I, for example, do not always have the patience for this). A woman who, with such work as Natasha's, would give children so much attention and care, still needs to be looked for. And she does it great. We love her very much and are proud of her!

MOTHER: Anna Anisimova-Sarmont, executive producer, television administrator.

DAD: Dmitry Sarmont, director of a private enterprise.

CHILDREN: Plato (4.5 years), Tikhon (3.5 years), Yeremey (2 years); expecting a fourth baby.

About the happiness of being a mother of many children

It so happened that the first pregnancy fell like a bolt from the blue. I was only 22, I worked actively and did not think about children. But, perhaps, I chose this fate for myself. Let me explain. At the age of 16, she was terribly, unrequitedly in love with one young man, wrote tons of poems, songs, even started writing a book about him. Over time, the fire of my passions subsided, but at the age of 18 I asked his permission to take his last name as my creative pseudonym. I wanted to make a career as a singer. So I lived with two surnames - most of the environment knew me exactly as Sarmont. A few years later we met again. And immediately began to live together. After 2 months I became pregnant with Plato. Soon we got married - and officially, according to my passport, I became Anisimova-Sarmont.

In fact, immediately after the birth of the first child, she became pregnant with the second, and after the third. The environment, of course, was divided into "sane" and those who were happy for us. No, we are not fanatics, not crazy - we just love children, we succeed in them, we are ready to work and put them on their feet. Moreover, observing situations with acquaintances and friends, when loving couples want children so much, but cannot get pregnant or endure, we even more appreciate the happiness given to us with a vengeance.

Although, probably for good reason, it would not hurt my body to rest - after all, not only did I get pregnant almost without interruption, I also breastfed everyone. But fate decreed otherwise: now we

expecting a fourth child.

"Crime and Punishment": views on education

We are a mixture of elements of the best Soviet education (respect for adults, strictness) and "Western permissiveness." If they said “no”, then it is always “no” - this is probably the main rule of our pedagogy. It is important not just to ban, but to explain why. Then there will be no tantrums. However, children are all different - maybe this does not work with someone. It is not necessary to have a bunch of toys or a tablet to distract the child. You can play with it and have fun. The main thing is patience and self-control. Well, and the understanding that these are children, they are interested in everything, they all want to try, fit in everywhere. It is important to explain to them how to exist in this world, how to use its benefits and what to watch out for.

You can always negotiate with children, and with experience come skill and skills that are useful in education. We spend a lot of time together. We travel with children with pleasure, go anywhere, go shopping, restaurants, cafes. Children learn, and the more often you introduce them to the culture of behavior in different places, the faster they begin to behave adequately there, without annoying other visitors and without creating discomfort for my husband and me.

Weekdays of a mother of many children

Neither we nor our children are perfect. There are breakdowns, and unbridled emotions, and fatigue. In such situations, the husband urgently sends me shopping, to the gym, solarium or to my girlfriends. So that she could gain strength, exhale and again begin the duties of a mother. For which many thanks to him. He was not afraid to be alone with children, even when they were babies. I just pumped milk and he fed himself. And during this pregnancy, I had to be in the hospital twice, and all this time he coped alone, managing to go to work with the younger one, and take the older ones to a speech therapist. He cooked and cleaned - he did everything himself. Pah-pah-pah, gold!

We do not expect outside help, we rely on our own strength. By the way, we don’t have grandmothers, nannies, sitting constantly with children either. We manage ourselves, only occasionally connecting one of our friends or relatives to shake things up and spend time together, which is also extremely important for a harmonious atmosphere in the family. And thank you to all the helpers!

Children and beauty

Manicure, depilation, hair coloring,

wraps, etc. - all this helps to feel beautiful, well-groomed. I do almost all the self-care manipulations myself, without spending big money on it. There would be a desire, but there is an opportunity. You can look good and at a minimum cost.

Children and career

Whenever possible, I try not to abandon my profession. I work on television and a little in the organization of events: individual shootings, events, concerts. Well, or where they will call! I am very glad that the specifics of the work allows you to realize yourself remotely or selectively. The management of the STV channel is always ready to meet, support - I'm ready to thank heaven for these people, honestly! Probably, she did not receive more support from anyone - except perhaps from her husband! Children with age require more and more investments, including financial ones. But this factor only spurs on to new heights, to work.

We have fun

I am often asked how I cope with three babies. I always answer the same thing: with three it is easier than with one! Especially now, when everyone is already eating, going potty training, getting dressed. It wasn't so easy before. But now they don’t really need you: they have fun together, they have the same interests. It is only important to teach them to play together, so as not to kill each other! Therefore, I have more time for household chores and for myself. Speaking of everyday life: children are very functional people and are happy to help with housework, cooking or cleaning.

dad about mom

Anya is a great mom and a great wife! She manages everything and everywhere, she is well done!

MOTHER: Marina Gritsuk, TV presenter.

DAD: Akim Tyshko, soloist of the vocal group "Pure Voice".

CHILDREN: Danila (11 years old), Vsevolod (8 years old), Akim (6 years old), Mark (4 months old).

About the happiness of being a mother of many children

Only mothers of many children can understand what is the happiness of a mother of many children. The rest, at best, will sympathize. Well, how to explain that you can endlessly look into the eyes of your next baby, listen to children's laughter, kiss a small dimple on the neck and enjoy small successes - the first steps or the first exams? How to explain that without a little man in the house it becomes boring? Will anyone believe that I have learned to expand time and live instead of one life - four more? I learned to enjoy life sharply and every second! Being a mother is a happiness of a completely different depth, it is a feeling of the inner sun that illuminates and warms its “sunflowers”.

Family traditions, family charter.

I In our house we rejoice

and create and thank you for everything.

II We drink green tea,

we dance and we sing.

III We smile, we play,

embrace, dream!

IV We always know how to forgive,

and appreciate and respect!

In general, in our family it’s like this: as my mother said, so it will be in my father’s way!

"Crime and Punishment": views on education

One wise man said: everyone knows how to raise children, except for those who have them. The more children I have, the more often I come to the conclusion that all conflicts are due to misunderstanding of each other. Children cannot be the same, everyone has their own nature, and it can be very different from the nature of their parents. But, as they say, from every good apple tree, parents try hard to grow a decent pear. Is it necessary to punish a child if, instead of dressing for school, he spends 15 minutes opening and closing the closet door, because today it “creaks in some special way”? How can you punish for a bad mark in mathematics, if in the nature of a child it is deftly sawing with a jigsaw or being an athlete? Perhaps the most important thing we can teach our children is to love ourselves for who they are.

Everyday life of a mother of many children ...

… these are daily crash courses in various subjects. A course in psychology, a course in finding a compromise and defending one's rights, a course in negotiation, attentiveness and composure. We learn how to say and hear the word "no", and in general, how to speak so that we are heard. We are going through a course of tenderness, love, patience, strength and Have a good mood. We learn and teach - to ask and give in, to be happy and open. I'm not talking about cooking classes, courses on maintaining order, providing medical care and memorizing football clubs and their players. And another important subject is the ability to make plans so that you are always ready for the child to break them.

Children and career

A career is attached to a person depending on his abilities - and a family is given from above. Therefore, the family, perhaps, is always a priority. But not to such an extent as to come to the boss and say: you know, I won’t come to work tomorrow - my husband asked me to go to the cinema with him. The other extreme is to work in such a way that there is no spiritual strength left for the family. After all, it is difficult to give love when all aspirations are aimed at climbing the career ladder. I was very lucky with work: I’m leaving there with great pleasure and also return home.

Children and figure

I think these two concepts are quite

compatible. The main thing is to find an incentive. I'll finish breastfeeding, and we will have to seriously address this issue so as not to remain unfounded.

We have fun

After half an hour persuading little Akim to insert an antipyretic candle into him, he finally agrees: “Okay ... Just don’t set it on fire!”

dad about mom

If there is any maternal ideal, the ideal of femininity, then this is Marina. I have a feeling that the role of mother is destined for her by nature. I am very glad that next to me is a woman who is as obsessed with children and love for them as I am. We found each other and found the meaning of life. She is the perfect mom! If she still took the right notes when she sings lullabies, she would not be worth the price! (smiling)

Photo by Alexander BUSHMA

Makeup & Hair Natasha BUR

I remember when my eldest daughter went to first grade, I was sitting in the lobby of a music school and told one pregnant mother about how hard it is to manage two children. One must be taken to the kindergarten in the morning, the other to school, then run to work, the pool, mugs, lessons in the evenings, and also household chores. I, as a mother of two children, shared my experience ... .. Mommy sat silently and only quietly nodded her head in agreement. Then I didn’t even know that in front of me was a mother of many children, expecting the birth of the fifth (!) Child .... She was so quiet, calm, peaceful, somehow, and then five children simply did not fit in my mind ....

But only some 9 years have passed, and now I am taking the fourth of our six children to a music school. And I understand that then, with older children, it was really very difficult for me. Firstly, everything is for the first time, and secondly, I did not have what saves a mother of many children - there was no system.

Each mother of many children builds her own model over the years. A young mother is like a person who lifts a barbell weighing 150 kg without preparation. - it can either overstrain, or it can not be lifted. mother of many children- this is an athlete with many years of training, she lifts the projectile in one jerk, keeps it at a height to the maximum and can do it repeatedly.

For 10 months now, we have become more than seven, now there are eight of us: me, husband and children - Darina (16 years old), Fedor (13 years old), Georgy (8 years old), Ksenia (5 years old), Grigory 2 years and Bogdana 10 months.

I became a very good “sportsman”, “master of sports”. And I got my own model of life big family. In fact, everything turned out to be very simple.

Here are my helpers:

1. Order, mode, minimum of things. And it all works only in conjunction with one another.

2. "Creative box", which is stored high, high, on the refrigerator. There is everything for needlework to keep a child of any age busy. Children know that they can play all this only in the kitchen under the supervision of their mother. The “box” does not fall into their hands, I take it out and distribute everything myself.

3. Older children and the phrase: “You help me, I help you” are very helpful.

4. My helper items are washing machine, slow cooker, sling, notebook and magnetic board.

1. Toys.
All toys are in boxes. Children ask for a box, play, collect everything back, remove the box. All boxes are signed.

It turned out that in order for a child to clean up toys after himself, you just need to do it yourself after each game - the baby quickly absorbs this and soon begins to repeat my actions.

It’s a pity that I didn’t know this with the first two children, there were so many scandals about this ...

We don't have many toys.
- high-quality LEGO (we started to buy even the eldest daughter, and now we continue, I myself can play with them);
- a pair of dolls, clothes for them, dishes, a stroller / cart, a wooden bed;
- a few cars;
- wooden "railway";
- and 2-3 soft toys everyone has it.

Now we have fewer toys than when I had two children. Then our apartment looked like a branch of Detsky Mir.

It turns out that children do not need a lot of toys - they perfectly play with some improvised means and at the same time develop their imagination.

Children just had to be taught to play what they have, and not buy more and more new toys in the hope that "well, this is what he will definitely play."

Puzzle boxes, with board games and small LEGOs are very high and are now given strictly according to the issuance.

2. Also, at home there is a horizontal bar, an easel for drawing, a piano.
3. Clothing and footwear.
There are few of them - but everything is functional and of high quality. At school - the form, in the garden the main thing is convenience, at home, again, convenience. Much is passed on by children to each other by inheritance.

Time distribution system.

1. Cooking.
On weekdays, everything is extremely simple:
A slow cooker “cooks” porridge for breakfast for us.
Broth for soup and vegetables for salad or vinaigrette, I cook in the evening. The next day, the broth remains only to season, and cut the vegetables for the salad.
I do the frying immediately for 5-6 servings, I take the right amount, and I freeze the rest for later.
For dinner, we are preparing something simple like a salad (which the kids are happy to cut) plus potatoes.

2. Polyclinics-shops-social services.
Previously, we spent a lot of time on trips to clinics, social security, passport offices, and shops.

I had to do everything myself, I believed that without my presence nothing would be done, or it would not be done the way it should be.

Now I realized that both my husband and older children are doing a great job with this. I just had to learn to trust them...

In addition, the trip of the older child to the store saves me from buying too much - he only buys what I have on the list. When I go to the store with the same list, I always come back with a mass of what I did not plan to buy, while sometimes forgetting about the planned purchase.

3. When the kids are messing around.
Even now I know for sure that if children indulge, then there are two options:
Or they have nothing to do
or they are tired of themselves (and since in children the processes of excitation prevail over the processes of inhibition, there must be a measure in everything, then it is physically difficult for them to stop). My husband and I try not to let our children fool around, that is, to indulge in nothing to do.

So tonight, my six-year-old child began to fool around. I took him by the hand, took him to the easel, wrote examples according to his age, and he began to solve them with pleasure (distracted, switched), and then drew ornaments according to the model. He sketched so much that he liked it himself - at this moment I remind him that time is given to a person for business, and not for pampering.

4. Breastfeeding.
It can be perfectly combined with reading for yourself and children, with food, with talking on the phone and writing letters on the Internet.

5. Walks.
It can be turned into educational lessons by studying the bark on trees, examining the tracks of birds and seeing off the ice on the Neva.

Walking is a life saver.
firstly, it is communication, which our children sometimes lack,
and secondly, the longer we walk, the less disorder at home.

They came from the street, undressed, washed their hands, ate and - "Silent game": one in the bath to play boats, the other in the room, build from LEGO, the third in the kitchen, draw or sculpt. And everything is in business.

Our typical day looks something like this.

Morning.
Get up, wake up the kids. While the elders get together and have breakfast, the middle one and I do the speech therapy tasks that we asked in the kindergarten. At the same time, I take off the dried linen, hang up to dry what was washed during the night, iron something ...
Now we need to wake up and collect the smallest ones.

All ready - let's go. We put the older ones on the bus (the gymnasium is far away, but it's worth it). For the first years, either dad or I drove and picked up children - now the time has come, and they go to school themselves, they know the route by heart.

We wave our hands to them and with the kids we continue our way to the kindergartens. Along the way, we discuss plans for the evening, repeat speech therapy rhymes or given verses, solve examples in our minds together, sing songs. We hand over the first child to the kindergarten - I just look into the group to say that I am handing over the child to them (in the garden everyone is surprised at how independent our children are). Then we take the second one to another, speech therapy garden.

That's it, the morning "transportation" is over, and you can take a walk with those who are still with my mother.

We walk mainly where the baby’s feet go, we don’t stick out on the playgrounds - this narrows the horizons of the child. He and I study the world around us: bugs, sand, pebbles, we stand and look at the tractor, at the cars for a long time, he asks something, I answer - consider that we went to the "razvitalki" ....

After a walk, we go to the store, buy food, sometimes we run into the library to exchange books.

At home - breakfast for kids.

Then, after a while, home swimming in a large bath. Since swimming is an active process, during which the baby behaves violently, we moved it from evening to morning.

After swimming, the youngest daughter falls asleep easily.

At this time, I read something to my son or check e-mail.

Then we do household chores with him: my son needs to fix his cars and build garages, and I need to do my homework as much as possible.

Day.
When schoolchildren return from the gymnasium, we all have lunch together. At the table, everyone vied with each other to share their news for the day, I listen to them carefully, comment on something, make some comments.

Then an hour for lessons.

And the beginning of the evening "transportation": we go to one kindergarten, then to another. Some days we go to DTY for extra classes, in some - to a music school. The elders have music, drawing, a pool, the kids have music, drawing, game dance. An English tutor comes twice a week. Everything, everyone is attached, and we are waiting for everyone, walking nearby in the park.

If we are lucky, and dad returned from work early, then we go back home by car. If not, then we ourselves go home in a cheerful crowd.

Once a week we have to go to Sadovaya to see a speech therapist. That's why we pick up our son at school, dive into the subway, go to the center - that's a city tour for children.

Evening.
At home, while I'm warming up dinner, the younger children here are busy with my "creative box". At this time, dad communicates with the elders.

Family dinner, and again conversations, jokes, laughter .... After dinner, the older guys wash the dishes in turn, at this time I put the baby to bed, and dad bathes the entire younger company in the bathroom.

Then we complete the lessons, i.e. something that our students could not cope with on their own.

Then - a collection from the evening of everything for tomorrow, and - the long-awaited evening reading. First I read about “turnips-koloboks” for the younger ones, then for the older ones. All children listen with interest.

Often in the evenings, the elders, if there are not many lessons set, read to the kids themselves, put them to bed - which means that my husband and I can go for a walk before going to bed, drink tea and coffee in a cafe, or we can just watch some movie together.

On weekends
Usually we go to visit, to museums or for long walks.

On Sunday, the elders have Sunday school.

The eldest daughter (on her own initiative) is engaged in music with the kids, and at my request she helps the brothers with English.

We also cook together, bake pies ....

But the main thing is not even in the mode and not in the system.
The most important thing that I understood already as a mother of many children: In this world you can live without soup, without lessons learned - but you cannot live without love. Everything that you do should be done with love - and then any business comes easier.

Did you think well before going to give birth to a second and subsequent child? Think! Want to? Think again!!! And don't do it. Not in our time and not in our state. In what - I do not know, but not in ours for sure. Even if you really want a child, if you and your husband love and support each other infinitely. Don't give birth.

I am a happy mother of many children. Do I love my children? YES! A thousand times yes!!! The heart contracts for each of them so much that sometimes it becomes difficult to breathe. I love it so much that I want our whole family to get hit by a truck and immediately die - all without suffering.

I gave birth to a daughter from my first marriage, fell in love, got married, quickly became pregnant and gave birth. The child was not planned, it happened. She is now 15 years old. When I realized that my child was from a drug addict, my daughter was a baby. I will omit the terrible details of beatings and violence, as well as betrayal, gambling addiction, drunkenness ex-husband. Now it does not matter. I divorced him when the baby was only 8 months old. The only important thing is that she was born mentally retarded. The main diagnosis is underdevelopment of the brain in the perinatal period, that is, during pregnancy. At her kindergarten age, she thought she was just hyperactive. When we went to school, I quickly realized that it was much more than hyperactivity. Now she is on homeschooling in 9th grade. The brain is severely retarded, at the moment at the level of a 6-year-old child. Fool in the literary (not in the name-calling) sense of the word. Much can be written specifically about her. It's not about that.

She approached the choice of her second husband very responsibly. First of all, I thought about my little daughter (who was already 5 years old), whom I could entrust - exactly trust - in fact to an unfamiliar man. Who does not realize what I mean - so that in the future he would not outrage and offend my daughter, but become her real father. Secondly, I was looking for a categorically non-drinking and non-smoking man. Fairy tales? And I found! My favorite and most close person! He accepted my child as his own and became a dad for her to the fullest. The birth of our second child is planned. We decided to give birth by the time our daughter needs to go to first grade. As planned, it happened. Now my second son is 8 years old.

I didn’t want a third child, I was already an accomplished mother of a daughter and a son, especially since the spine injured in childhood in an accident did not allow me to walk quietly during pregnancy for the last 3-4 months before giving birth - these are hellish pains, from which nothing really saves. You can’t stand for a long time, sit (sat down - you can’t get up), walk, you can’t lift your leg without pain to get into public transport. Sheer pain and tears. But the husband persuaded for a very long time and stubbornly, as a result, he was able to persuade. We have another son. Sun and smile. He is now 3 years old.

The idea of ​​a happy ending. Yes, no matter how! While giving birth to my children, I imagined how they would grow up, how at school I would help them a little with their lessons. Not much, because the child has to go to school on his own, and I will help in case of severe difficulties. So I thought. But the current education system simply does not give the child any opportunity to learn independently. Dear future parents. you anew, starting from elementary school, go to school, and your child will not have enough materials in textbooks, since teachers, for some God-known reason, will demand from a poor child what is not in the textbook, you yourself will have to constantly and systematically look for something for son or daughter, and as in my case, for several children at once, on the Internet, print and preferably on a color printer; you will have to rack your brains from tasks in notebooks according to logic, trying to simply master the wording of the tasks, and then the task itself, because your child does not understand this. And having broken your brain, you will do your best to break it to your child in the hope, well, at least somehow convey to him the logical solution of his tasks. In the first class you will be told that the German language is compulsory, and from the first class it is paid, and you will pay you have no choice, and from the second grade he will be filled with deuces in German, because for some reason your child did not learn anything in the first grade, even the alphabet. In general, your child from elementary school will be seriously overwhelmed with all sorts of different tasks, so that he will not have the opportunity to attend any circles or sections. But we are the right parents, and we will forcibly force the child to go to some circle without giving a damn about his physical well-being and the presence of fatigue. Our son goes to judo 3 times a week. We are lucky - he wants to walk himself, he really likes to do this sport. But how unlucky - his body from the loads began to falter! The child in the primary grade began to seriously jump pressure, so seriously that a couple of times had to call an ambulance. And, so that you understand correctly, not from the loads from the section, from there he always comes joyful, namely from school loads. After all, it was after school that he began to come to us with a severe headache. Because of school, we often have to skip judo, as it comes with tears of pain and high pressure for a child. I wanted to insert some photos from our textbooks, but changed my mind, because the Internet is full of photos from modern textbooks. And of course, none of the future parents even allow the thought of having a child with a different stage of mental disability. The fact that such children will be offended and caught by other "normal" children, of course, will never occur to you. And when it happened to me, of course, I was not ready for this either. That they can beat, seriously, to bruises on the body, that they will often throw out a briefcase, a hat, a sports uniform, shoes in shitty garbage troughs. That they will constantly spread rot, mock and call her names even in the courtyard of the house. Because she will not be able to answer and defend herself. And that in the hope of some kind of justice, you will run to the police and write statements against the offenders of your child, and instead of justice and the expected retribution for the evil done (or, well, at least an apology from the parents of the offenders), you will receive from the police what - some awkward replies with a misrepresentation of real reality.

And certainly, the supposed happy ending does not at all include the fact that we are categorically lacking the money we earn. Maybe the fact is that our family (like the vast majority in our country) is mired in loans. Or the fact that we have many children, and by definition we need to spend much more on clothes, shoes and food. Or maybe it’s that working in the banking sector, I don’t get a normal salary. To be more specific, I work at Sberbank. For the sake of my children, I transferred to night shifts on a schedule. The work is extremely hard, we arrive at 6 pm, leave at 7 am. As we say, a year of work takes two. Sometimes such a breakdown that I can not bring myself to get out of bed. But when you are constantly sick Small child I don't take sick leave. During the day I am at home with him, in the evening my husband comes home from work, I leave for a shift. And he gets sick more than he goes to kindergarten. A week in kindergarten, 1.5-2 weeks at home. Sberbank has introduced a 5 plus rating system, from which your premium dances. With a salary of twenty-six thousand, you are graciously given a bonus of about 7-8 thousand once a quarter. None of the rank-and-file employees have ever seen a bonus in the amount of more than this amount. With the strong workload of the entire team of night shifts (there is no time to run to the toilet, we have to endure it!), The higher management puts us on the failure to meet the coefficient of useful time and forced us to go on unpaid time off. The loss of money (salary) amounted to about 5 thousand rubles per month. Roughly speaking, the ending came out only eighteen thousand rubles. And that's on the night shift. Plus, the constant “forgiveness of overworked hours”: we are late for 30 minutes, they bet that they left on time. Delayed for 1 hour - still left on time. It is useless to be indignant, they send dissatisfied people deeply and for a long time, they say, there is a whole line of people who want to work in a savings bank. Husband is a bricklayer. Works officially in a well-known in our city and a large construction company. Salary 30 thousand per month. In total, for two, we get about 53 thousand a month. Lot? Don't know. We are missing. Throw stones with the words that many earn much less than ours and live. Maybe. But I can't say we're alive, I can say we're trying to survive. We don’t go on vacation, we have never been a family at sea, I buy used clothes and shoes for myself and my children on Avito. Often you have to buy groceries with a credit card. When they tried to formalize the land allocated by the state to large families, it turned out that it was not allowed, since we have as many as 5 extra square meters of living space. They didn’t understand what exactly is superfluous in our typical three-room apartment in a five-story panel house with a tiny kitchen and a walk-through hall - the kitchen itself or the entrance hall with a corridor ?! And it’s okay that they didn’t give it, anyway, there would be nothing to build something. So, both exhausted by hard work and constant thoughts about the lack of money, we do not leave ourselves any opportunity to be just loving parents and happy family. Difficulties are hardening! Yes, now! Difficulties suck all the good out of you, turn you into a zombie, preoccupied with how to earn money and solve a huge avalanche. family problems. Say what you want. I'm tired. The thought of a huge truck does not leave me. There is no light. I'm tired of choosing between children, who else should look like in old shoes or clothes, and who urgently needs to buy something. I generally keep quiet about my husband and I. I'm tired of spending from 3 to 5 thousand rubles a month on medicines. Tired of treating a child with cold medicines that do not help. Go to the sea for a month to breathe in the sea air and so on for 3 years in a row. This is what the doctors advise. Yes, what are you talking about?! Which sea? Honestly, I would like to live and enjoy every day I live. For some reason it doesn't work. Say what you want. I do not care.

How do they become large? It is appropriate to inquire about this from families with many children! We have collected for you the experience of large families in this article!

Experience of families with many children

For the seventh year since we had our third child, we have been a “large family”. It still sounds weird. And I just can’t understand: what fundamentally changed at that moment? Why do families with more than two children fall into a special category? After all, when acquaintances and casual interlocutors say: “well, of course, you have many children,” they clearly invest in this concept something more than just the number of our children. How do people become large? Are families special or not? And does the view of important life problems really change with the increase in the number of children? With the help of parents from the Sibmama forum, we will try to answer these questions.

Every family has its own story. But there are several main motives for the appearance of the third, fourth and subsequent children in the family. I must say right away: the two arguments most beloved by idle interlocutors do not often find confirmation in reality. The first one is “they give birth until they finally get a boy (girl)”. In life, usually parents of two same-sex children either decide to stop there, or wait for the next one, and more often they want ... a child of the same sex! They already know how to deal with it, what to wear and what to talk about. Here, for example, is what one mother of several sons says: “I almost always longed for a girl, but boys were born. Except for the last pregnancy. All my friends, knowing about my dream of a girl, said daily: “We hope you will have a girl this time.” And I thought to myself, if only there was a boy: I already know what to do with boys, but there are so many problems with girls!

The second common myth is “they are believers, they cannot use protection.” Without going into theological discussions about the possibility or impossibility of family planning for Orthodox Christians (I do not presume to judge other confessions), I will nevertheless note that the matter is different. I only know for sure that believing parents allow another child to be born, “planned” or not, not out of fear of violating some kind of prohibition, but because they are well aware of the value and uniqueness of each human soul and the immensity of the gift he sends.

So, probably the largest category of “large children”, to which our family also refers, are families that have become such “accidentally”, unexpectedly for themselves. These parents just found out one day that another kid wants to see the world, without asking much for the opinion of the parents - and agreed with him. Or, having decided on the second (first) child, they find out that twins (triplets) will be born. And then, having become accustomed to an unexpected quality for themselves, they understand that their fears of big family were exaggerated, and a lot of children - it's great! Let's listen to a story that is quite typical for such families: “In 1995, our second son was born. I enthusiastically engaged in them and considered us a completely prosperous family. And she didn't plan on having children. Then I worked successfully in the scientific field for several years, even flew on a business trip to the States. Then my husband and I almost broke up. And then I realized that I was pregnant. And from the very beginning of this pregnancy, I experienced such a piercing feeling of happiness, incomparable to anything else. We did not divorce, and our third son was born. I tried to comprehend my new position and get used to it. When she became pregnant again, contrary to science, she was very discouraged. But a little girl was born, a golden flower, and she reconciled me with herself, and with the world, and with life. And such feelings at the birth of the next children are very typical for women - apparently, the mother (and the father too) feels more and more confident in this role, and wants to feel the happiness of finding a new loved one again. Here is another story of the mother at that time of four children: “Why exactly so many children? ... I don’t even know how to answer ... In fact, I never even imagined that I would someday become a mother of many children. Although I enjoyed taking care of babies, neither my family nor my husband's family had a tradition of giving birth to more than two. Therefore, having given birth to a daughter and after 6 years of a son, I considered my program completed, but ... Probably, my son was 3 years old, he went to kindergarten, I went to work, and something became so dreary ... I still wanted to plunge into these diapers and pots (so hated while they were), cuddle a fragrant baby ... Well, in short, my son was 5 years old and another daughter was born. Then things got more interesting. When the youngest was 10 months old, I began to notice some oddities behind me ... I did a test - hello, two strips. At first they seemed to be confused. Still, the 4th child (and the stereotypes are still old, with few children). But ... And another boy was born (they gave birth for the second time with dad, he really liked it!). The difference turned out to be almost 1.5 years. This couple is a goose and a great auk. It is something!!! They should be twins! And I liked the whole thing so much (of course, I didn’t understand it right away, I tried to pretend to be a cool aunt for a long time, to actively work there ...) Therefore, when the youngest was over 2 years old, I realized that he had already grown up, and I I want more!!! Moreover, all my prejudices about a large family gradually began to dissipate. Yes, and her husband, be that as it may, but began to like the role of a father of many children, he is bursting with pride. That's why... that's why there's a week left until the fifth birth."

Another part of those with many children are those who initially, when creating a family, dreamed of having many children. For me, they are very brave and responsible people. They are not only not afraid of material difficulties (often, to be honest, that fall to the lot of large families), but they immediately, consciously, agree to a special position in society: “For some reason, I didn’t really talk about how many children I would have . Although the fact that I will get married and have children, I decided in the third grade of school. It was this detail of life (family, children) that I saw (and this is true) as a pivot in the life of a person, a woman. Before the wedding, they talked about the number of children, of course, the number 4 sounded, but now, already more, and, hopefully, not the finish line. This also includes Orthodox families. Although, of course, an equal sign between the concepts of "large" and "Orthodox" cannot be put.

There are frequent cases when, unfortunately, the marriage broke up, and over time a marriage was created. new family. Spouses who decide to remarriage, another baby is born or even several: Love dictates its own laws ... And there are many such couples, believe me. I know a family with four children from three fathers; I know a case when a family has five children from two marriages; there are examples when both husband and wife unite their children into a single family. In such families where children grow up from different fathers (or mothers), the harmony and mutual understanding between parents, the patience of fathers are especially important. The paradox of our legislation is that the fathers of such families are not considered parents of many children, although it is obvious that a man who responsibly decides to raise (and support) both his biological children and his wife's children deserves support and respect.

In my opinion, all families in which the third, fourth and subsequent children appear make a conscious choice. Whether the parents initially wanted a large family or not, they let the children be born. And, if you talk to any mother who has several children, she will admit to you that with each new child, tenderness and love for the baby increases, and everyday difficulties, especially in terms of caring for the baby, seem less and less significant. And each of them, understanding the obstacles in the form of age, crowding, etc., in the depths of her soul dreams of the next baby ... “Children. Probably, this is not quite normal, but all the happiest things in my life are connected in one way or another with children. The most unforgettable and happiest periods in life: pregnancy and childbirth. The greatest happiness is the birth of children. The greatest happiness is to bring joy to your children. Here I can’t be stopped by a tank and fantasy blooms in a riotous color. Recently, for some reason, I decided that this is not quite normal. But until the end, I still haven’t decided what to do with it.” It is no coincidence that often it is families that already have children who decide to adopt. They decide, already knowing how to raise a child, knowing how to organize life and feeling able to give love and warmth to those who are deprived of it.

There are domestic problems, of course. All families are forced to cope with them as best they can, taking into account their attitudes, capabilities, and traditions. This is a topic for a separate discussion. I can only say, summing up the opinions of many mothers, that as the family grows, financial difficulties often do not recede, but become less significant. Healthy, cheerful and friendly children, their successes, caring for each other - all this brings more joy than, for example, an increase in material status. Although there are many large families with high income, contrary to the ingrained idea of ​​​​our indispensable "poverty". Many fathers, by the way, precisely the appearance second - third the child was motivated to be more active in creating a business or promotion, mastering a new specialty and, in general, more full disclosure their possibilities.

In general, it is worth mentioning especially about our dads. Perhaps the head of a large family always has some qualities - patience, reliability, understanding of domestic difficulties. Often, however, these qualities are manifested and strengthened as the family grows ... Let's give the floor to one father: “Before the birth of the first-born, I absolutely did not understand friends with children. In a sense, I did not perceive their problems until I myself encountered similar ones. Here, as in a saying: a well-fed hungry one does not understand ... Is it prestigious or not to be a father of many children? Yes, I like the role of the father, but before that I just didn’t think about it. He knew about the existence of large families and nothing more. That is, I did not condemn them and did not show any interest at all ... Well, large families live and live, but what do I care ?! I'm on my own, and I have my problems, and they have theirs ...
Yes! I'm happy father of many children and happy husband!
I am happy that my life has turned out this way and not otherwise ... And in principle, as it turned out, I am a father prone to many children.

All families, regardless of the number of children, are different. By beliefs and hobbies, by material opportunities and education. Do not believe in commonplace stamps. I really want a large family to meet a calm attitude instead of puzzled looks, so that our children, even as adults, do not consider their family an outlandish exception to the rule. And for this, probably, it is simply not necessary to consider a certain number of children in a family as the “norm” - after all, each family is unique!

I never even thought close

That I will become a mother of many children.

And now I'm a mother of three children,

which is very happy.

Yes this is true. As a child, like most girls, I thought that the ideal family is a boy and a girl, two children. I don't know why. Probably, this was instilled by society, parents, the fact that in my family it was exactly like that, by someone else, but it seemed that this was the only right way :) There were large families (6 children) at school, but they were not treated very well, belittled , considered beggars can. Personally, I was calm, never teased anyone or called names. In general, no one envied such children, and there was no question of imitation.)

When I found out that I was pregnant with my third child, the first thing I asked my husband: "How will people look at me now?" Yes, I was afraid of the reaction of others, I was ashamed of my position, but that was only at the beginning...

I was worried in earnest about the opinions of others and about everything else. The internet has calmed me down. Once I sat down and started to drive in the search: large families, the reaction of others ... And I ended up on a large forum. For 2-3 months I read stories there, gradually I began to look at my position in a completely different way. I realized that I am not alone in this world, there are still a lot of like-minded people with many children.))) This was the first forum on which I talked and so far the last one.

Just a year ago, I became a mother of many children. Moreover, unexpectedly for many: for parents, relatives, neighbors.)) We hid pregnancy from parents and relatives right up to 7 months. AT antenatal clinic the doctor reacted well to my pregnancy, to be honest, I expected moralizing that no one is giving birth now. But it turned out the other way around, I remember, I came for the first time to see her at 18 weeks, my stomach was already big, she says: Why did you come to register so late?

It happened...

What births?

Third...

She looked up from the leaflet, looked at me and asked in bewilderment: "And that everyone is alive?" "Yes talking. Then she thought, looked out the window and said: “What if the money allows and the husband loves, why not give birth ..”)))

Other doctors, when they found out that the child would be the third, asked: what gender were the first two. And when they found out that they were of different sexes, they could not understand why a third was needed?))

Now, people react to me in different ways, there are those who even stopped communicating, there are those who envy me. With the advent of childrenI'm not exactly ashamed of my position, no, on the contrary, I'm proud that I have three children, I trumpet about it at every step!)) I'm glad that my life is so rich and full. If I go with two, I somehow feel uncomfortable, I feel somehow miserable or something right away ...))