Do guys like modest girls.

It has always been considered that modesty is the main virtue of a woman. But today, the idea of ​​\ u200b \ u200bthe attractiveness of a girl has completely changed, guys are increasingly choosing for themselves the one that is not distinguished by shyness and modesty. Why guys are no longer attracted to reserved and mysterious girls.

What a shy girl she is

For a modest and shy girl, concepts such as non-verbosity, mysteriousness, passivity, defenselessness, vulnerability are suitable. It would seem that all these qualities should attract the stronger sex. A real man wants to protect and protect his soul mate, a quiet and laconic girl will become a faithful caring wife and a wonderful mother for future children.

But there is also a negative side: lack of initiative, lack of ambition and personal opinion, unwillingness to develop, self-doubt, pedantry. These qualities annoy men and guys today.

The main question is: why do all of the above aspects of such girls repel young people? But the point is that shy girls mostly only push off young guys- adolescents, at a more mature age, the values ​​of a man change in the opposite direction.

The reasons guys dislike modest girls

Firstly, a young and active guy will not even notice a modest girl, because in her young years she is engaged in study and self-development, she does not have free time to meet and communicate with the opposite sex. Secondly, even if he notices her, she will outwardly lose a lot to her peers, who lead and look defiant.

In the period of growing up in young people, the choice of a potential partner for a relationship is not based on her personal qualities, but on a bright and beautiful "packaging". Stylishly dressed, bold and even impudent girls are a "pride" for a teenager, she is not ashamed to show her friends, go with her to the cinema or to a disco. A modest girl, who more often at a young age resembles a "gray mouse" rather than a fatal beauty, will not arouse the interest of friends and will not become the soul of the company.

Another reason is the "hormonal explosion" in teenage boys. A dissolute indiscreet girl more easily agrees to intimacy... That is, easy accessibility attracts guys, which is difficult to say about a modest girl. At best, it will take a long time to persuade her, and at worst, it will not be possible to do this. By the way, in most cases this is the main answer to the question: why guys don't like modest girls.

Self-doubt is characteristic of a modest girl, this not only prevents her from finding a worthy partner, but also in dealing with people. Men feel when a girl next to him feels uncomfortable, but not everyone realizes that the reason for this is her internal barrier, and not some of his shortcomings. In any case, the presence of complexes and low self-esteem becomes a serious obstacle for a young lady in a relationship with the opposite sex.

The inability to stand up for oneself makes a girl unattractive in the eyes of guys. A young man will take it as an honor to stand up for his soul mate in front of other guys. But often modest girls are ridiculed by more daring peers, and in this case the guy will not defend the interests of his beloved, but rather turn away from her in order to protect himself from outside attacks.

In general, as they grow up, young people are looking for bright and affordable girls. In adolescence, not a single young man thinks about a serious relationship with his chosen one, he, by and large, does not care what kind of mistress and mother she will be, the important thing for him is that “here and now”. And a girl at this age does not think about creating a family.

What are the criteria by which a guy chooses a girlfriend?

If we talk about the fact that uncommunicative girls repel guys, then too vulgar and obsessive persons they are also not attracted. More precisely, the lack of femininity will never attract a man, either a mature or a teenager. Therefore, the bright appearance and sociability of a young girl is a clear advantage that should be moderate.

V young age men evaluate a woman's appearance not by her natural data, but by her ability to improve them. In other words, a guy is more likely to pay attention to a girl with moderate bright makeup rather than completely without it. Pretty haircut and manicure, a tendency to experiment with their appearance attracts and lures guys. It is these qualities that modest girls are deprived of.

Sociability and a good sense of humor make a girl especially attractive.... With such girls, it is not easy to willingly enter into close relationships, but they can also just be friends or spend time together if they have common interests. Modest girls can not always become an interesting interlocutor, more precisely, she will rather just become a listener.

By the way, overly arrogant and demanding people also repel guys, and much more often than shy ones. Some girls with early age spoiled by expensive things and excessive attention from their parents. Young bankrupt guys can't provide for a girl expensive gifts and beautiful courtship, and they simply do not want to give them constant attention, since they themselves, by and large, need care and guardianship.

Output

Indeed, the relationship of opposite sexes in adolescence- this is a complex process, when young people completely lack a sense of responsibility for each other, and neither one nor the other wants to burden themselves with serious relationships. Young people are attracted to simple and immodest girls, while the latter are attracted to "bad" guys.

With age, closer to 25 years, the values ​​of a man completely change in the opposite direction. An adult man is looking for a life partner among modest decent women who will be reliable, loyal and caring wives. Although daring and brave women are also attracted to adult men, but more sexually, for example, as a mistress.

As you know, modern girls are different: modest, fashionistas, vamp women, and so on. In this article, we will talk about what a modest girl she is.

For some reason, many girls believe that in our time, modesty is a vice. In fact, the opposite is true. Only modesty must, so to speak, be correct. We will talk about this further.

A modest girl is a gentle and meek character.

The one who loves to make noise, swear, meet all the guys in a row, is very far from a modest girl. Let's get to know the latter. Imagine a quiet girl who does not get involved in empty talk or gossip with anyone. She is quiet, talking only about business and only politely.

1. Simple but tasteful clothing

A modest girl shouldn't wear miniskirts ripped jeans and nude T-shirts. She has a knee-length or ankle-length skirt, or tailored trousers. A well-closed blouse on top. It is not forbidden for such a girl to wear sundresses and suits. She just does not stand out in the crowd, does not expose all parts of the body. Her things are simplicity but tasteful.

2. Appearance

She will not paint brightly, pierce her ears all over the auricle and do piercings. She has no tattoos. The modest woman either has no makeup at all, or she chooses everything to match her face and no frills.

3. Hairstyle

The braid is the symbol of the Russian girl. As a rule, a shy woman does not dye her hair in bright colors, does not make stunning hairstyles. Her hair doesn't irritate or surprise anyone.

The mistakes of modern prudes

Often in the Orthodox environment you can find a shy woman such that it is difficult to distinguish her from her grandmother: a skirt just below the knees, a jacket, a scarf tied at the chin. And all this in brown or gray tones.

In no case should you be so “modest”. People will turn around and twirl their fingers at their temples.

Also, a modest girl should not sit quietly, huddled in a corner or in the shade. She needs to be in society. But in a society such where people are cultured, educated, correspond to her interests, religion.

Why is modesty needed, and how will it help in life?

What does a free girl dream about? About marriage! But who do they marry? Good, well-mannered. Modern fashion, psychology imposes its own. As a result, the bride does not know what is right, why the advice from the magazines does not work.

And the reason is this: you need to learn to love everyone, provide help, be merciful, caring, friendly and at least a little smiling. Men love cheerful and caring girls. They need kind wife, a reasonable hostess.

An interesting question, which girls are most popular with young people? It is not uncommon to hear the opinion that modest girls attract the attention of guys. But in practice, quite often, a young man is carried away by completely different qualities. Is it worth striving for modesty in modern world?

Why do guys like shy girls?

Even in the last century, modesty was considered an undeniable virtue. However, at present, a very modest girl runs the risk of being unclaimed both in her personal life and in her profession. Conditions modern life are such that you need to be able to present yourself in order to please men and colleagues. In this case, excessive tightness can become a serious obstacle.

Young guys rarely pay attention to shy girls who do not stand out from the crowd. Nevertheless, when it comes to serious relationships and readiness for marriage, a man really evaluates his companion according to several criteria, which include her behavior. In this case, a modest, beautiful girl has more chances to become a legal spouse.

We can say that the future spouse makes quite practical requirements for the bride:

• First of all, if the girl is very modest, there will be no family problems associated with jealousy. By her nature, a lady of the heart is not prone to windy behavior and will not provoke her husband to inappropriate actions, flirting with his friends and strangers;
• As a rule, a shy woman prefers the silence of her apartment to noisy entertainment in nightclubs. Such brides subsequently make great wives who are able to create comfort in the house and feed the whole family with culinary masterpieces;
• Another reason that makes modest girls very attractive in the eyes of guys is the lack of interest in shopping. Shyness and modesty will save the family budget, since the future wife will completely manage with a minimum set of wardrobe and will never spend finances on excesses;
• Virginity is one of the most common reasons why guys like shy girls. Any man is pleased to know that he is the first and only one, this significantly increases their self-esteem.

Is it really so?

The naivety of the male is striking. Stereotypes that have developed over the centuries are perceived as unshakable, although over time everything changes. In most cases, all of the above arguments have nothing to do with modesty and can lead to erroneous opinions when choosing a spouse.

For example, beautiful girl, not showing coquetry, can become the subject of persistent courtship and, accordingly, provoke jealousy. Fortunately, deprivation of virginity is currently not considered a crime. You can remain a humble person knowing what sexual intimacy is.

Not necessarily a shy woman will become an excellent housewife. Often, girls of this type prefer to sit over romantic story than cooking pickles.

Clothing is a controversial issue! An independent young woman with a stable income should dress with dignity.

It is not necessary to carry out everything in stores free time... However, the cost of the items chosen can sometimes shock the gentleman. Outwardly modest clothes of a girl can be purchased in a well-known boutique, where, by definition, it is impossible to buy a cheap and vulgar thing.

Modesty should be separated from stiffness. The first quality is characterized by tact, education, the ability to behave in society, the absence of a touch of vulgarity in appearance and habits. The pinched girl is filled with complexes that make her blush from every male gaze, disguise her adorable figure with baggy outfits, and refuse to use cosmetics.

It is these personalities that become devoted housewives, quiet and obedient wives. By the way, guys are often bored of spending time with a girl who is insecure, unable to take the initiative, who has no personal opinion and is wringing her hands in horror at the slightest hint of intimacy. Usually young man the opinion of others about his girlfriend is interesting, he is pleased if his friends like her.

For a status person, excessive modesty of a life partner can become a problem. Due to his duty or social status, such a man is often present at corporate parties or social events. A chosen one, unable to hold a conversation, can seriously damage his reputation.

Can you cultivate humility? Psychologists are sure that with due diligence, a persistent person is able to develop almost any quality in himself.

Becoming a modest girl: how to develop the right qualities in yourself

In fact, the set of rules that a shy woman must adhere to is quite simple:

• If a girl uses obscene expressions in speech, it is impossible to call her educated, and even more so a modest person. However, you can sometimes resort to the emotional manifestation of negative feelings with the help of a mat, but only in the circle of close friends. In a conversation with unfamiliar people, especially men, one should behave culturally.
• One of the hallmarks of modesty is appearance. Of course, no one calls for disfiguring your figure with shapeless skirts and stretched T-shirts. However, it is problematic to become a shy person, emphasizing the appearance with bright cosmetics and catchy things. You should carefully work out your image, leaving defiant cleavages and tight silhouettes for parties.
• Excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages, smoking that causes laughter is also not worth practicing, especially in public places. Negative factors in assessing behavior are hysteria, moodiness, obsession.
• The presence of tact is a rare quality that it is desirable to cultivate in oneself. You should not discuss other people's mistakes out loud. Better in private, advise the person to monitor their behavior.

It is difficult to say whether men like modest girls or not, this is a matter of taste. However, having chosen the image of "your boyfriend" or "broken youngster", you should not be surprised why young people are in no hurry to show interest.

The image of femininity consists of many feminine qualities: softness, flexibility, openness, naturalness, dignity, beauty, the ability to listen, trust ... But this list will not be complete without such a quality as MODESTY.

The opposite of modesty are qualities such as:

bragging, vulgarity, swagger, pride, tactlessness, impudence, licentiousness, permissiveness, arrogance, vanity, narcissism, arrogance. And these qualities hardly adorn a woman.

We often confuse modesty with shyness, shyness, and sometimes with downtroddenness and insecurity. Timid people are afraid to express their point of view, are insecure, do not know how to express themselves.

✿ A modest person is confident, self-sufficient and wise. He does not need to prove anything to anyone and attract attention to himself.

✿ Modesty is a quality acquired rather than given by nature. It is achieved through education and inner work on oneself. Only a mature person can be humble.

✿ A humble person has inner dignity and self-respect.

✿ Modesty always adorns a man, especially a woman!

✿ Modesty is awareness of your own boundaries and the boundaries of another person. Such a woman will never impose her decisions and her opinions on others. Modesty implies respect for the other person's choice, even if you don't like the choice. This is a certain tact. Often immodest people are tactless.

✿ Modesty implies a lack of vanity.

✿ A modest woman does not push herself out and does not push herself to the fore: - This is what I am, look at me!

Immodest people are more often fixated on themselves, on their merits and their achievements, it is important for them to demonstrate them and not only demonstrate, but also get attention, exalt themselves, and, if possible, cause envy.

Immodest people are often realized at the expense of others, they do not allow the word to be inserted in a conversation, and they always pull the blanket over themselves. They are desperate for recognition.

This eternal desire to gain the approval and recognition of others takes a lot of energy, deprives him of calmness, a person lives all the time, focusing on others, and not on himself.

✿ Modesty in behavior and appearance suggests a certain measure in clothes, in cosmetics, in emotions, in words. A modest woman looks after and looks after herself, but her style will never be vulgar. And of course all kinds of provocations with exposure are excluded different parts body.

✿ A modest woman grew out of narcissism, this process becomes uninteresting. She does not need to brag about either her acquisitions, or her achievements, or her talents, or natural data. She will not post her photos publicly on social networks to arouse envy or to gain the approval of unfamiliar people.

✿ A modest woman will never demonstrate her successes and achievements. A modest woman will not interrupt a man. And also he will not rush with advice, and express his opinion. Modesty excludes categorical and commanding tone.

✿ A modest woman knows her worth, and there is no need for her to seem better than she really is. Therefore, she will not intensely attract attention to herself or demonstrate her exclusivity.

An immodest woman can take on a lot of things, and then show everyone her “successes” or portray a victim of circumstances.

An immodest woman always expects praise from others that everyone will notice her dignity and, in general, everything that she does. And when this does not happen, disappointment and resentment grows in the soul.

Pride does not allow to enjoy what is already there, makes a woman think that she deserves better than what she has, including a man. This eternal dissatisfaction prevents a woman from being happy. Inner modesty allows you to feel the boundaries of what is permitted in a relationship. Therefore, quarrels and conflicts with a man are excluded.

✿ Modesty is, first of all, understanding your boundaries, limits and feminine capabilities.

Benefits of modesty:

✿ A modest woman does not judge or condemn others, because she does not consider her opinions and her views to be the only correct ones. Therefore, a modest woman is not threatened with pride, which deprives a woman of peace and happiness.

✿ Modesty will allow you to always have good relationship with the people around you.

✿ Modesty will allow you to concede superiority to a man, since you will be able to step aside and not climb ahead of him. And even more so, give advice when you are not asked about it.

✿ Modesty will emphasize all your virtues: kindness, naturalness, sincerity, gentleness and beauty and, of course, femininity.

Feminine modesty is very beautiful.

Such qualities as naturalness, dignity, good breeding, responsiveness, benevolence and tact are closely related to modesty.

This is a very feminine quality that makes a woman harmonious and very attractive. By developing this quality, it will become easier for you to live - more harmony, kindness and love will appear in your life.

The story of my reader is about how the guy did not take into account the girl's modest upbringing and went too far with perseverance.

We met Sergei on the bus. I lost money that day and had to be late for the exam. Sergei did not let the trouble happen, he paid for my fare. That evening, after successfully passing the exam, we met in the park.

I liked him at first sight - tall, charming, generous! He flatly refused to take the money back. We chatted for a very long time, went for a walk until nightfall. I asked to accompany me home, as I am afraid to walk the streets alone. I was somewhat surprised by his reaction to my simple request: "You are a coward and a mama's daughter. You are already 18 - it is time to break away from your parents."

The next day we met again. Seeing him, I forgot about all the insults - a charming smile, a flower, a chocolate bar - again we walked and talked until late. By the end of the date, I was no longer able to laugh - he knew so many funny stories, jokes, anecdotes! It was getting dark again and, freezing, I was getting ready to go home, no longer asking him to see me off. But he stopped me, saying that the evening was just beginning, now his friends would arrive and we would go to the disco. I really did not like it, something skipped inside. I made a nervous attempt to leave under the pretext that I was not feeling well. But he again did not let me do it, rudely stopping me. "If you want to sit in girls until old age, please go, but I assure you - you will regret me all your life" I obeyed. For some reason I wanted to obey him implicitly, even though my intuition prompted me to run. I couldn't even tell my parents where I was (at that time we didn't have a cell phone yet).

His friends came. Five people. We went to a disco. Sergei held my hand tightly all the way. I was scared, but at the same time tormented by a strange feeling that I was really a stupid coward, and Sergei was a confident, strict man. His friends spoke to him in a respectful tone. They treated me the same way. There was not even a hint of debauchery, which I panickedly imagined in my imagination.

At the disco, he began to indulge in a lot of unnecessary things. I strictly made it clear that I do not like all this. In addition, I was worried about my parents, because it was already night. He again began to convince me that I am an adult, and must think with my own head that he would never have contacted a child. He repeated that he did not hold me and I could leave at any moment. He will personally call me a taxi. But all the time he reminded me that I would lose.

Somewhere his friends had girls and they began to retire in private.

At some point, I burst into tears like a child and asked to send me home.

At the same moment I regretted my words - on his face I saw contempt mixed with some kind of terrible disgust. It was very humiliating, I wanted to take my words back, But he did as he promised - he ordered a taxi and sent me home

At home I had a very serious conversation with my parents. For the first time in my life, I said a lot of nasty things to them, being impressed by Sergei's words. I'm not a mama's daughter and I'm not a snot in a glass !!!

The next day my parents and I went out of town for a week. Without sleeping all night, in the morning I tearfully asked for forgiveness from them for my words, and I hated and loved Sergei

I had a week to think about it. A calm conversation with my mother solved all my problems. Everything was clear to me now. I felt sorry for myself and my parents) I didn't have any feelings for Sergei. Even hate. Something of friendly sympathy remained - after all, he really did as he promised. So he is an honest man, at least

But he reacted very sharply to my indifferently friendly greeting. I think his pride was hurt. He decided that for a week I was "having fun with another" under the guise of a trip with my parents to the dacha. And with him I only pretended to be touchy

I caught myself begging him to believe me! With an effort of will, I cut off all the explanations, calmly saying "Well, let it be fun, just don't worry, okay, bye, I have to go." His face changed again. Now I learned that I was taking advantage of his kindness and generosity. I offered him to give all the (in principle, small) money that he spent on me, he almost flew into a rage. I have become the enemy.

I did not respond to his angry attacks. She just looked at him calmly. And once she quietly said, "if somewhere she was wrong, I'm sorry." After a while, he calmed down, saying one day "okay, sorry, I was acting like a darn shit" and you are a normal girl.

A couple of years later he found me in the chat, congratulated with others. I found out that he had just returned from the army and was going to start new life that he is no longer as addicted to sex as he used to be. I sincerely wished him good luck, expressed confidence that he would succeed, and said that I was already going to get married.

It makes little sense to analyze the situation. The man simply did not take into account that the girl was modest, well-bred and was not used to the rapid development of events. I suppose she was also a virgin at that time - and here the fear of haste is all the more understandable. The conclusion is simple: consider who is in front of you - a "liberated" girl or a modest, even squeezed girl with a good, correct upbringing. Pushing her into sex, you can easily miss a potential partner for Serious relationships... Just scare her and thereby turn her against yourself, as it happened in history.

I think that this outcome is not yet the worst for the girl. Very often the girls, having fallen in love with the "alphacha" rake, jump after him into the pool of dubious pleasures and from good-girls turn into walking ladies unsuitable for a family. Therefore, passion is passion, temptations by temptations, and you should always have your head on your shoulders. Especially when life has not yet been flushed down the club toilet.