Benefits of raising children in a single parent family. Features of raising a child in an incomplete family

Divorce is not uncommon these days. According to disappointing statistics, about half of marriages in Russia break up. Although society's attitude towards divorce is becoming more tolerant, the breakup of a family is a serious stress for all its members. Children are especially affected by this. The task of parents is to help the child survive the divorce of their parents and mitigate its negative consequences on the upbringing process.

Divorce through the eyes of a child

Children in a divorce situation feel a strong nervous tension. Unfortunately, in most cases, the separation of mom and dad causes them psychological trauma. The exception is when a parent leaves, whose presence caused great discomfort. For example, when a mother divorces an alcoholic father who was violent and beat his wife and children. However, most often the offspring are very worried and do not want their parents to disperse. Psychologists distinguish several generalized children's reactions, largely dependent on age.

From birth to 1.5 years. The crumbs are not yet able to understand what is happening in the family. The reaction to the divorce of parents at this age mainly depends on the experiences of the mother, as they subtly feel her psychological state and adopt it. The peanut can show his emotions with whims, tantrums, nervousness, refusal to eat, problems with sleep. Psychological discomfort can affect health: frequent illnesses, exacerbation of congenital diseases;
From 1.5 to 3 years. emotional connection baby with parents at this age is very strong. They are the center of his little universe, so the departure of one of them will be hard to experience. Emotions can also affect physical health manifest itself in problems with appetite and sleep. It happens that the baby becomes unmotivated aggressive: fights, bites. In some children, there is a return to infantile forms of behavior: pacifier sucking,;
From 3 to 6 years. During this period, children develop a vague understanding of what a divorce of parents is. They suffer because one of the parents no longer lives with them. Preschoolers tend to blame themselves for this. Manifestations at the physical level: poor appetite, sleep. Various fears and fantasies may appear. It happens that the offspring behave aggressively towards the parent with whom they stayed to live. Manifestations of risky behavior, disobedience are increasing, injuries are becoming more frequent;
From 6 to 11 years old. The stress experienced by a child from the divorce of his parents can be exacerbated by the crisis of 7 years, which coincides with entering school. If adaptation to school is accompanied by an unfavorable situation at home, this can cause problems with learning, reluctance to go to school, conflicts with peers, antisocial behavior. AT given age children already understand what divorce is, they are often afraid that they will not see one of the parents, they will not be able to communicate with him. Fears can also arise in relation to their future, which seems uncertain and frightening. Some children think that they can restore the family, they are trying to reconcile their parents. If this fails, the children feel deceived, abandoned;
11 years and older. Adolescents are already able to understand what divorce is, but internally they cannot accept it. Against the backdrop of raging hormones, everything is taken to heart. Adolescents experience resentment and disappointment, often there is a feeling of uselessness and abandonment. The departure of one of the parents can be perceived as a betrayal, the reaction to which is behavioral disturbances: absenteeism, alcohol consumption,. It also happens the other way around: the child becomes an ideal son or daughter, thus trying to achieve reconciliation between the parents.

At any age, it is psychologically very difficult for a child when mom and dad decide to divorce. Parents need to set themselves the goal of overcoming mutual claims and learning how to interact, taking into account the interests of the child.

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The right solution in a divorce situation would be joint custody of the child. It happens that this is very difficult to do, because the former spouses cause a lot of conflicting and even negative emotions in each other. However, it is necessary to do this in order to minimize the psychological trauma of the child from the divorce of the parents. Psychologists say that when the ex-husband and wife maintain a calm, even relationship, continue to take care and raise their children together, the children feel normal.
Don't avoid talking to your child about the divorce. You can’t lie and say that one of the parents went on a long business trip. The best thing to do is to talk openly with your child. It is good if both parents are involved in the conversation. The psychological state of the child after the divorce largely depends on how this conversation goes.
In a calm atmosphere, tell them that mom and dad are breaking up because they can no longer be happy together. Be sure to mention that you are divorcing each other, but not with the child. Your breakup is not his fault. Both of you still love and will love your baby, communicate and spend time together, although someone will live separately.
You can not quarrel and insult each other in the presence of a child. Try to discuss disagreements and disputes as peacefully as possible, without involving the offspring in conflicts.
Do not criticize your ex-husband or wife in front of a child. If a child is critical of ex-spouse in his absence, he should not be encouraged and supported in this.
Do not put the child in a situation of choice between parents and do not set against the former spouse. The child loves and needs each of you.
Do not use children as an intermediary between you: forcing them to send angry messages, demanding money, fishing for information about their personal lives. If you have something to say to your ex(es), do it in person.
Stop the child's attempts to manipulate you with threats that he will leave to live with another parent. This will teach him to manage you and negatively affect moral development.
Do not humiliate the offspring, finding in his behavior traits of negative resemblance to the former spouse. " All in the father! (to the mother!) ”- such phrases can provoke even more negative behavior and set against both parents.
Never blame your child for your problems, unsettled personal life, domestic difficulties. This is the fault of adults, and you can not take out your irritation on him.
Do not prevent the other parent from seeing the child. Although the place of residence of the offspring is determined by the court, mom and dad must be nearby. Agree when and how much time the child will spend with each, and do not infringe on the ex-spouse's right to communicate with him.
Be open in your communication with your child, while avoiding unnecessary details. The child subtly feels falseness, so it is better to talk about your experiences in a language that is accessible to him. So he will understand that he is not alone in his feelings. On the other hand, do not dump your problems on him, they may not be up to him, no matter how grown-up he may seem.
Show your love and affection generously. She is needed more than ever by a child in this hard time. On a subconscious level, many children fear that if their parents have fallen out of love with each other, then they can easily stop loving them too. Show that it is not.
Give your child as much attention as possible: read together, be creative. Try to expand your social circle so that the child is distracted from family problems, more often spend time outside the home in joint walks, sports.
Help your offspring set achievable goals and achieve them. Do not skimp on praise, but do not avoid fair punishments.
Try to be an example for the child: do not act immorally, do not withdraw into yourself, learn to overcome the blues and enjoy life - and he will definitely join you in this!

If parents manage to agree among themselves after a divorce and jointly take care of their child, this the best way affects his psychological well-being.

The positive impact of joint custody after divorce

The child feels safe. Participation in the life of the child of both parents gives him a sense of confidence in their love, has a positive effect on self-esteem. This helps a growing person to accept the fact of separation of the closest people faster and easier.
Joint custody of parents gives the child a sense of stability, orderliness of life. This allows, just as in a complete family, to form a system of rules, rewards and punishments. The offspring is confident in the future, knows what to expect from others and what is expected of him.
The child learns to deal effectively with difficulties. Having before his eyes the experience of parents who successfully overcame differences and were able to cooperate for a common goal, the child adopts their model of behavior in difficult situations.

Divorce is not a sentence for a child. The wisdom and love of parents, their ability to compromise and forget mutual insults will help him cope with stress and overcome it with the least psychological loss.

Your children love and appreciate you for being their parent, for having you!

Probably the most difficult problem a parent or single mother faces is feeling overwhelmed that he or she has to fulfill his or her responsibilities in raising children as both mother and father. Especially when the other parent does not take an active role in raising the children, this feeling of overwhelm develops and becomes deeper.

You may have already tried to overcome this feeling in two ways that you thought could help you in this situation. You tried to give yourself completely to children and performed duties for two, or you began to hunt for men or women, trying to find a partner for yourself, thus trying to find a replacement for the former parent. Do you want advice? None of these options will solve your problem. You can try to find a way out of such a situation, but remember that in reality everything may turn out differently, not at all the way you would like it to be.

For example, you are a single father with three children. This situation becomes even more complicated if two of the three children are girls, and you will have to make a choice between finding a wife for yourself to solve the problem of loneliness or a mother for your daughters so that the girls can receive a proper female upbringing.

In such a scenario, you are probably looking for a woman blindly, only to fill in the second. But a year later, you would probably go back to being a single parent again.

Finding the right partner is not an easy task. This does not always help to find the answer to how to solve the problem. Believe it or not, you cannot replace your mother or father. But this does not mean at all that you cannot find a person who will take an important place in your life and in the life of your children and will become a huge part in your life. life together. What is really important is that this relationship will be new, different, completely different, but they will play an equally important role in your life.

The most common feeling among single parents is guilt towards their children. This comes from the feeling that their children do not receive enough love and care that they could receive from another parent. Indeed, this is a very difficult situation, but how do you deal with it?

Think positively, and instead of trying to replace your wife or your husband with your children, it's best to focus on what you can provide for your children. Think about what you can give them so that the children do not feel inferior in some way. Just because you're a single mom or dad doesn't give you reason to feel guilty. You should rather be proud that your sons or daughters have you, and that you are able to feed them and give them a good education.

Understand that your children love you, and if you look for the guilty in your unfolded family relationships, then it will not lead to anything good. You must understand that you should not get married or get married for fear that without this your children will not be happy and contented.

Overcome the feeling of guilt in yourself, and get rid of it as quickly as possible by any means available to you.

Remember: first of all, you are a person with your own strengths and weaknesses; you are not a superhero. You can't do anything supernatural, and you should never judge yourself for doing something good for yourself that others might not like. You can’t be good for everyone, first of all you yourself must feel comfortable, then those around you who care about you will see that you feel good, and eventually understand you.

Also, don't expect help from your children every time you need it. Children are not mean or crazy or anything like that, they are just the way they are. They are children. Children - they always do something, sometimes not at all what you want from them, and sometimes they do the opposite, and sometimes they do nothing at all. This behavior in children is completely normal. But, in reality, we do not always like their behavior. Try to adapt to the behavior of your children, work with your children according to your own conditions, and soon you will not feel lower than you really are.

Of course, you can earn respect from your children if you put all your doubts and indecisions aside when talking to them. And, of course, no matter how hard you try to take care of them, and how much effort you put into it, you can never be both mom and dad for your child. You have to come to terms with this. Therefore, follow our advice and leave all your attempts. You alone will never replace the love and care for two, no matter how hard you try.

Your children love and appreciate you for being their parent, for having you, for your love and devotion. For children, there is no difference: you are rich or poor, you live in a city or a village, how you dress, etc. There are no special requirements that must be met to earn your child's love. He loves you anyway, he just loves you: remember that. First of all, you need to start appreciating and respecting yourself so that your children and the people around you also appreciate and respect you. The work of raising children is completely different from any other normal work, but believe me: it will not exhaust you, will not leave you without strength, as perhaps it might seem to you at first glance.

Respect yourself, know your worth and follow the advice given in this article. And you will be surprised to see how well you can handle your child-rearing responsibilities, even as a single parent!

What worries a single mother

Divorce raises many questions for the mother. Here are the typical ones:

How to raise a child without a father?
Will it affect his development?
To what extent will the absence of a father's example affect the boy's life?
Will the girl, having matured, be able to build happy family, if in childhood she was left without a dad?

These questions haunt single mothers, and when problems arise in the life of a child, the mother thinks that this could not have happened if dad was around.

Let us consider the real significance of the role of the father in education, without exaggerating or underestimating it.

A woman, having learned about pregnancy, begins to understand that a little man will soon be born, for which she will be responsible for 18 years - and maybe her whole life. And her upbringing will largely affect the fate of the child in adulthood. No one wants to be left without a husband and raise a child alone, but what if circumstances put a woman in such conditions? What to do if you had to become a single mother?

In life there are different situations- a man leaves his pregnant wife, parents divorce when the child is already an adult, the woman herself decides to leave her husband, as she is not satisfied with family life. Sometimes tragic events happen that leave a child an orphan.

From childhood, girls are taught the stereotype that children should grow up in complete families, otherwise a child - especially a boy - may grow up handicapped, unable to build his own happy family in the future. After all, there are many examples in life when daughters who grew up without a father eventually also become single mothers. Every now and then we come across stories that indicate that the absence of a father in the family negatively affects children. What then to do?

Children of today perceive divorce differently than children of the recent past. If earlier there were 1-2 children from incomplete families in the class, now there are much more of them. There are more and more children growing up without a father or having a “Sunday dad”, and therefore they perceive the news of a divorce differently.

However, it is always necessary to take into account the psychotype of the child. There are children for whom it is important that everything in the family be decorous and noble, that everything be right. These children have the hardest time enduring the divorce of their parents. They have a hard time accepting any changes, and such important changes familiar image life, like the separation of parents, deprive them of a sense of security. Therefore, it is necessary to prepare such a child for the breakup of the family gradually, very carefully and as delicately as possible.

There are children who easily adapt to any changes, so they are able to more easily accept the news of their father leaving the family. For any child, the divorce of parents is perceived as a threat to his safety, but this should not be taken as a tragedy of a lifetime.

Any negative consequences of the separation of parents can be smoothed out if the father and child continue to communicate after the divorce, if they see each other at least sometimes, and preferably as often as possible. A woman must find the strength in herself not to express her grievances against her ex-husband to her children, not to set the children against him, not to cause them to be negative towards their father, not to distort the idea of him.

Should the family get divorced?

It must be understood that it is not always necessary to strive to save the family by any means.

If children grow up in an outwardly prosperous family, in which there is actually a lot of negativity, then they can transfer this experience to their future family. Children should not see the swearing and quarrels of their parents. It is important to remember that any father is an example for children, and a bad father, accordingly, is a bad role model. Any domestic violence witnessed by children is a psychological trauma for them.

Unfortunately, there are fathers who beat children, maim them psychologically (for example, constantly ridiculing the boy for his tears, repeating “what are you like a woman, be a man”) - all this is no better than raising children in an incomplete family. The worst thing for a child is to see how his mother is beaten. From birth, the baby perceives the mother as a guarantor of his security and safety. And if a child sees the beating of his mother, then the picture of his world collapses.

With the right approach, you can convey to the child that divorce is not fatal, that sometimes this happens, and this is how it happened in their family. Some emotional children, with appropriate explanations, can tell friends that their mother met her true love and they will now live in new family. Children should not be allowed to perceive divorce as the only way to solve problems in the family - after all, very soon they will start families themselves and may face conflicts in them.

Single mothers should understand that by nature they have everything to raise a mentally and physically healthy child. The post-war generation grew up in incomplete families and became normal people. Don't pre-arrange for the worst. Of course, it is more difficult for a woman to raise a child alone than in a full-fledged family, but this is also possible.

The statistics are relentless and it shows that the number of divorces is steadily increasing. People meet, fall in love, get married, have children, and ... disperse. This is our reality modern life. Whether divorce is an option, probably, everyone decides for himself, in his particular case. But here are the questions that any loving mother basically typical: how to raise a child in an incomplete family? How will it affect the child if he grows up without a father? How will life without an example of a father affect the boy's psychology? Is it important for my daughter and her full-fledged future family life for dad to live in a family? These questions often torment us, single mothers, for many years, and every problem in a child’s life painfully resonates in the soul “would there be a father, maybe this would not have happened.” So what is the role of a father in raising children really. No exaggeration and no understatement. Let's understand through system-vector thinking.

Raising a child without a father: what is it - a heavy cross or an opportunity to raise a healthy child?
In what cases is it better for a child to grow up without a father than with one?
Raising a child without a father - is there a difference in raising boys and girls without a father?

A woman, having felt the beating of a new life under her heart, at one moment realizes that now she is not alone and a new little man will soon appear in the world, whose life will turn out in many ways as she asks her upbringing. The huge responsibility that falls on her shoulders will now be carried by her incessantly for 18 years, and maybe all her life. What to do if you have to live without a father, how will this affect the child? Of course, no one wants such a scenario for themselves and their baby, but what if life itself decides in this way?

Some people have happy lives, while others don't. It happens that a man leaves a woman who is still pregnant, it also happens that a divorce is issued by mutual consent when the child is already an adult. Sometimes it happens that a woman herself is the first to think about a breakup, because a lot of things do not suit her. Misfortunes also happen - and in an instant the child remains an orphan without a father.

The stereotype that a child without a father, especially a boy, will not be able to grow up to be a full-fledged one has existed for a long time. Since childhood, we girls have been taught that a child should live in a complete family, otherwise it may underdevelop, not acquire the skills that will allow him to create his own full-fledged family in the future. After all, there are many such examples in life: how many single mothers have daughters who also become single mothers in the future? A lot of.

Thinking about raising a child without a father, we now and then come across stories right at our fingertips that seem to indicate that this will have a bad effect on the psychology of the child. What to do?

Don't panic. Not once at a time, as they say. In fact, it is quite easy to predict how a child will develop without a father. With system knowledge, we can more easily deal with this problem.

How do children perceive divorce?

Modern children live in different realities than we or our parents lived. If even 20-30 years ago in a class of 30 people there were only 1-2 students who are brought up in an incomplete family, then today everything is the other way around. The number of children who live in families without a father or with a "Sunday dad" is increasing like a snowball. And in general, they perceive the news of their parents' divorce in a different way. However, it is always necessary to make allowances for the vectors of the child, his psychotype.

The divorce of parents can be a big blow for a child with an anal vector. For anal people, a family where everything is decorous and noble, where mom is beautiful and bright, and dad is a strict and respected person - this is an ideal life. This is the stereotype that will always be supported by him. And his parents, his own mom and dad give him life in their own adult life. He is also hard to endure change, it is in his childhood that he needs a sense of security more than others. Sometimes, the anal baby feels that with the divorce of his parents, he will partially lose this security. Therefore, it is a child with an anal vector that needs to be introduced into the information that a family break is planned very carefully and thoroughly, gradually.

The rest of the children are easier to divorce. Of course, when a family collapses for any child, this is perceived as a threat to his safety, but still it cannot be said that life and raising a child without a father will become a crippling problem for them for life. A child with a skin vector easily perceives any changes and therefore quickly adapts to new circumstances. A child with a visual vector suffers from an emotional break with his dad, may yearn and grieve, miss his loved one.

But all these negative consequences of divorce can actually be easily eradicated and there are many opportunities for this: one of them is not to interfere with communication between children and father, at least occasionally, but better - more often, literally on a par with mom. Another rule, with all the resentment and hostility towards your ex-husband, you can not "lower" him in the eyes of the children, turn them against him, tell them your grievances, causing negative feelings.
Better without a father than with such

It is important to understand that there are times when, with external well-being in the family, it is even better for some children to be brought up in an incomplete family, only with their mother. Because, growing up in a family complete, but with negativity, they are asked bad script life.

A normal father is indeed an important and necessary example for a child, but a bad father is also an example for a child. And often, trying, by all means, to raise a child in a complete family, we forget that in fact we are causing irreparable harm to him. A family where swearing and quarrels are constantly heard is not something a child should see every day.

So, a father with an anal vector can mentally cripple his skin-visual son, constantly squeezing the value of masculinity: "be like a man, not like a woman", he scares the boy, stops him in development.

The beatings that skin children endure from a too zealous anal father, for example, for petty childish theft, will also not lead to anything good. The skin, so tender and responsive in skin children, quickly takes the beating and bends flexibly under them. Masochism, a script for failure, pathological theft - all this can be expected of children with a skin vector who were beaten in childhood.

There is another negative scenario, it is given to a child with a sound vector. When parents yell at each other, call them bad names, the little sound guy lives in an unbearable world for himself and begins to gradually, as if disconnected from it, withdrawing more and more into himself, up to autism.

In a visual child, it is important to form a sense of kindness, mercy from the very beginning. early age. If the father intimidates the child, treats him with callousness, this hurts the visual vector.

It must be understood that any violence in the family that a child sees is always a psychological trauma. There is nothing worse for a child than to see a beating, physical violence against his own mother. Children, from birth, feel the mother as a guarantor of their safety and security. And if someone beats this guarantor before their eyes, then the foundation of his life collapses.

Divorce is not fatal, and raising in an incomplete family is hard, but normal

In general, with a normal approach, all children are able to understand that divorce is not fatal and not bad. It's just life and that's how it worked out in their family. And skin-visual children can gladly support the divorce of their parents. Very open, emotional, with the right approach and explanations, they can proudly declare even in the yard "Mom found the love of her life, and now we will live in another family."

Initially, nature laid it down so that the child is brought up by dad and mom. The fruit of the love of two people grows, develops and learns the world together with the closest people. Such a family is complete. However, in our time, defective families have become almost the norm, because many women give birth to children out of wedlock, for themselves, raising a child for two.

Often families break up - and the child remains in the upbringing of the mother. How does one parent cope with education? What are the features of raising children in incomplete families?

How to raise a child in an incomplete family

According to demographers, every tenth child preschool age raised by one parent. AT school age this is one in seven. Among incomplete families, the tendency of the "maternal" family, that is, the upbringing of the child by one mother, persists. However, there are families where children are raised by fathers. How does the incompleteness of the family affect the child?

Incomplete families arise for a variety of reasons: in connection with the death of one of the parents, divorce, the birth of a child out of wedlock.

The upbringing atmosphere of the family where the mother was widowed is more favorable than in the family where the divorce happened. Preserved family ties provide children with psychological support and compensate for the lack of communication. If there are several children in such a family, then this can also be a partial compensation for the incompleteness of the family. Usually the elder becomes the younger "leader", stimulates him in the social sphere, acts as a protector.

Psychologists state that in incomplete families, children compete less and are more attached to each other. In the event of a divorce of parents, they simply "pass" the exam for early adulthood. Divorce for them is a breaking of habitual relationships, traditions, foundations. Divorce has the greatest impact on preschool children. In such an incomplete family, the relationship between parent and child sometimes develops like a cult of self-sacrifice. This means that mother and child are connected by love, suffering, pain, sadness. This type of relationship gives rise to pessimism in the child, self-doubt, anxiety, gloomy moods. And sometimes the relationship between a parent and a child in a family after a divorce develops according to the type of indifference. The child is not noticed, the mother suffers and is given over to sadness and resentment. Often this resentment can spill over into the child. Then he becomes even more weak in soul and body, feeling the loss of his father and mother at the same time.

Therefore, after a divorce or in the event of a baby being born without a father, the mother should do everything so that the baby feels the absence of the second parent to a minimum. Consultations will be useful child psychologist and communication with teachers. Very often, the grandfather or other male relative of the family begins to play the role of the father in such families. A child, especially a boy, intuitively reaches out to a man who looks like his father, because he wants to compensate for the lack of male attention and care. Well, if such a man is nearby.

Raising children without a father

Today, fathers are much more actively involved in the upbringing of children, even after a divorce. As a rule, mothers are democratic and allow the child to communicate with the father. Indeed, after a divorce, the absence of a father is very felt by children. Without it, the child lacks authority and discipline.
After a divorce, the mother's attitude towards ex-husband, who in any case remains a dad. Some women do not mention their husband and live as if he never existed. Others deliberately oust everything good about their father from their children's memory, taking the opportunity to mention him from a negative side. Wise women try not to change the image of the father in the representation of children. They remember both the good and the bad, giving children the opportunity to draw their own conclusions. Psychologists say that creating the image of a bad father after a divorce is the lot of weak and not far-sighted women. After all, the boy in this case will develop with complexes, and the girl will subconsciously think that all men are bad.

The absence of a father, according to scientists, negatively affects the mathematical abilities of boys and girls.

These abilities are extinguished due to the lack of an intellectual environment that a man creates. Girls who grew up without a father always have a fear of math. Even simple mathematical calculations lead them to panic, confusion.

The presence of the father in the family affects mental development children and their interest in education. According to studies, the time a boy spends with his father affects his studies. The more they communicate, the better the son learns. An active and businesslike father, aimed at success, makes the boy want to imitate him. For him, he is an authority and a model in everything.

The first 5 years of life play a decisive role in the development of a male character in a boy. The longer at this time the child has to live without a father, the greater will be the difficulties in his gender identity.

If a boy is brought up by one mother, then one can observe in him a manifestation of female character traits, a preference for activities characteristic of girls.

In the development of the girl, the father is the main man, the model to which she will subsequently orient her relations with men. Psychological studies state that the relationship between a girl and her father in early childhood affect her future personal life. Women raised by friendly and affectionate fathers tend to be successful in marriage, sexually and spiritually. And those whose father was faceless or did not exist at all are more often unhappy in marriage. Such girls are clamped and constrained, they often have inferiority complexes, they consider themselves ugly and unworthy of happiness. Even in a small and familiar company, they remain silent and blush, feel uncomfortable, prefer loneliness. Therefore, they cannot arrange their personal lives. Relationships with men cause them fear. That is, the lack of paternal influence when a girl grows up makes it difficult for her to develop as a woman and complicates the formation of intergender communication skills. Such women are very often divorced, as are their mothers.

Features of raising children in single-parent families

The breakup of a family is almost always a trauma for the child's psyche. But often the parent left to raise the child does not try to mitigate this trauma. In their bitter throwing and grievances, women often forget about children. They, in turn, consider themselves abandoned by both parents.

Other mothers after the breakup try to take on a double mission. They are trying to replace both dad and mom at the same time. This mission is very rarely feasible, because in a complete family, the father and mother occupy their own niches. At the junction of educational positions there is a golden mean, which makes it possible to competently educate children.

A single mother wants to replace the boy's father. She's getting stricter than usual. Mom begins to make increased demands on him and sometimes even becomes cruel.

But psychologists believe that upbringing in an incomplete family can be a normal process, only it is carried out in more difficult conditions for the mother. The qualities of a parent who raises a child may well compensate for the lack of another parent after the breakup of the family. The child perfectly differentiates the mother from the father, so you should not take on impossible missions.

The mother's main educational weapon should be double responsibility. The kid should feel that he is still protected, loved, that he is ready to listen, help and support.

Very often, after the divorce of their parents, the guys at school listen to the stories of their peers about their fathers, joint family pastime. This causes them hidden envy and resentment. It is good if after the divorce the child communicates with the father. If this does not happen, then such grievances over time can even result in hatred of the mother, mental disorders and the development of phobias.

Communicate with your child more often and listen to him. Ask questions, be interested in his life in kindergarten and school, relationships with friends, peers.

Praise your son or daughter more often. Don't punish them. An emotionally stable atmosphere will keep the child's trust in the mother and self-esteem, self-confidence.

Do not forbid remembering the past, in particular the father. This is a child's right.

Help your son and daughter learn behaviors that match their gender.

Expand and develop family social ties. The child should be able to actively communicate and build relationships with the men you know.

A new marriage is a chance for the child to return to life in a full-fledged family. And here it is important that a relationship of mutual understanding and love develop between the new chosen one of the mother and her child.

Especially for - Diana Rudenko